MY MEMORIES
5.27.2006
love, a strong liking for someone or something, an object of affection and, as depicted by Sinatra, a crazy lil thing indeed.
sigh. the perils of love are beyond compare. It turns the grumpiest and coldest person into the happiest one in existence. Yet again, it tears e happiest person into a grief-stricken lump, sucuumbed to the depths of depression.
reminiscing to my childhood, back in teh old kindergarten, lower primary days, guys n gals were segregated from each other, each gender confined to their own social circle, i.e. guys will always hang around with guys n gals with gals. When walkin from class to class, e teachers would make the whole class lines up in 2 rows, segregated, n would force us to hold the other's hand, which we would reluctantly comply. In primary school, guys and gals slowly started to mingle with each other, however, each were cautious as to how much mingling they could as prolonged mixing with a particular person from the opposite sex led to the childish presumption that the two were bf-gf, much to the amusement from the other kids, who would constantly tease the hell outta the protesting victim and his/her 'mate'. The victim was always dared to kiss his/her 'mate', or at the very least, hold her hand.
through the years, the guys gradually started hangin out with the girls and vice versa, and soon enough, couples and relationships started sprouting like reproducing rabbits, numerous beyond compare.
back in gm and taylors days, i've witnessed many relationships come and go, some reccuring, some a few years, months, even days.. the shortest i've ever seen lasted only a day.. my perception of love is like a parent is to a child, undying and ceaseless. Yet, there are many cases in school, and even the world, abt guys cheating on their girlfriends, girls cheatin on their boyfriends, guys and girls havin multiple mates, guys changing girlfriends every 2 weeks, vice versa, etc...
one by one, my single friends started attaching themselves with their 'significant others'. Back in gm, it was, apprently, a 'cool' thing to get attached in the prime of your youth (= <18 years of age)... which, i perceive was the probable cause of the numerous relationship breakdowns... cuz the guys were not able to stay faithful to their girls, and vice versa, or rather, they were not prepared to meet the requirements of maintaining a relationship.
I struggled with this problem as well..as if i were to be in a relationship with someone, it is highly likely that my gf wont wanna see me hanging arnd with gals that often. Hence for me, exhibiting the traits of a testoterone-charged individual, it is almost close to impossible, until i get married. and in turn, having inherited the protectionist trait from my parents, i wouldnt wanna see the like happen as well. Particularly considering that im studyin overseas, it is difficult to stop worryin as to whether my gf is hanging out wit some guy(s) or mebbe her ex... unless the mutual trust forged between the two individuals is SO strong that it is highly unlikely to happen. Unfortunately, this trait, presumably to be demonstrated largely by married couples, has been exhibited less n less
hence my qn: how does one love another?, or rather, how does one know that the other is right for him/her self?
i had a crush on a particular girl for a period of 3-4 years, up till now i have not made a move on her at all, or rather, i dumbfounded as to how to even approach the situation. Why do i like her, you say? particularly becuase, whenever im with her, i feel a surge of comfort coursing through my body as though she was the one i was looking for. She, too exhibits a nice, caring personality, and we do share a few common interests. Basically she was everything i was looking for.
i had this perception that girls expect guys to make the first move before commencing a relationship, and that relationships do not flourish until one has been dumped prior. Looking back, i did enter a relationship (lasted 2 weeks.. knew it wldnt last long.. heck i was only 15) and i did get dumped.
until now, im courage-less as to approaching a girl and confessing my feelings, particularly cuz of the fear tt might get dumped again... maybe its due to my constant worries which is why im currently confined to bachelorhood
well, having witnessed the ups n downs of relationships, i'd rather follow the path of my dad, who worked hard to where he is now, and only when he was financially able to support a family then he met, and married my mum....... wonder which girl would gladly wait for me till im in my late twenties/early thirties before commencing a relationship.. hahaha
maybe its high time i followed my mum's advice to start prayin for a future significant other to come and light up my life
``sincerely: bryys ; 11:44 PM
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